A Mini ‘BOUYnie’s Mittens’ Review

If I’ve learned anything from living with Mousie, it’s that rodents are a truly social breed ––don’t even get me started on the number of pre-covid critter gatherings Mousie’s held in our cave. Bearing Mousie’s social ‘wiring’ in mind, her natural affinity for the Democratic Socialist platform of Bernie Sanders comes as no surprise.

It was only when Mousie caught sight of Bernie’s handmade mittens, that she was launched into an unbridled flurry of zoomies.

Once Mousie’s sudden burst of energy had passed, and her “inner zen” was restored, next steps became clear. The time had come for us to order Mousie her very own pair of “mini BOUYnie’s Mittens.” Having no winter paw protection, this act would not only address Mousie’s need for comfort in “chilly winter weather,” but would also symbolically show her support for both “BOUYnie” and “mitten makers,” alike.

Photo: Mousie displays her "inner zen."

In the weeks following our order, Mousie eagerly awaited her chance to post positive mitten reviews online. When her package finally arrived, Mousie opened it right at our cave doorstep to immediately put her mini Bernie’s Mittens to the test in what Mousie dubbed as “the mitten trials.”

Above: 'The Mitten Trials'

The moment Mousie pulled on her mitts, she noted a marked increase in her paw span. This widened reach has improved her little BUddy hugging capacity by around 30%, meaning her mittens allow her to simultaneously embrace “three full-sized buddies.”

Meanwhile, the mittens’ knit texture and opposable thumbs give Mousie “a much better grip on things,” making wily, tumble-prone buddies more manageable. Mousie has hence decreed that mini Bernie’s Mittens are “all the better to love little BUddies with.” She has also repeatedly observed how much easier the attached mitten minder "makes the mittens to mind.”

With all these mitten features, one might wonder whether Mousie’s new mitts serve their basic function of keeping her warm. In that regard, this clip should dispel any doubts:

Above: Mousie feels "the BOUYn!"

All-in-all, Mousie is “very impressed” with her custom mittens, and wishes to show her appreciation to the person who handcrafted them for her by sharing this Etsy link with “everyone.”

Mousie concludes that her new mittens are, indeed, “exSELLant” as they have helped to leverage “the good works of tiny mouse paws,” reaffirming her belief that “a little boost can go a looong way.”

Above: Mousie continuously embraces three "full-sized buddies."